


Meet Me on the Bridge

by amyoatmeal



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canonical Character Death, Chick-Flick Moments, Coda, Dean Winchester Uses Actual Words, Episode Fix-It: s15e20 Carry On, Feels, First Kiss, Heaven, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Love Confessions, M/M, Reunited and It Feels So Good, Sam Who, fuck the finale
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-24
Updated: 2021-01-24
Packaged: 2021-03-16 10:49:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,402
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28955247
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amyoatmeal/pseuds/amyoatmeal
Summary: A 15x20 Fix It Coda in which Dean meets Cas on the bridge instead.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 24
Kudos: 95





	Meet Me on the Bridge

**Author's Note:**

  * For [HalRose](https://archiveofourown.org/users/HalRose/gifts).



> Inspired by an ask box prompt I got asking for some reciprocity and this quote:
> 
>  _“Someone can be madly in love with you and still not be ready. They can love you in a way you have never been loved and still not join you on the bridge. And whatever their reasons you must leave. Because you never ever have to inspire anyone to meet you on the bridge.”_ — Nayyirah Waheed
> 
> I didn’t cry writing this, _you did_. 
> 
> Happy Birthday, Dean.

“What are you gonna do now, Dean?”

The open road sprawled out in front of him as Bobby’s words rattled in his mind. The sun was shining high in the blue sky, the trees were vibrant shades of green, and for a fleeting moment he felt contentment. He lived longer than he thought he would— That had to count for something. A life like Dean’s, he supposed maybe he was living on borrowed time anyway. And when it really came down to it, he didn’t feel regret about throwing in the towel. He never imagined he’d go out like that, but dying wasn’t new for him. Dying was easy. Admitting to himself that he was done, that there was nothing for him back there anymore, was the hard part, but as strange as it sounded, he felt at peace with it. 

If he were being honest, the last few months were like waking up in the mire. 

A monster here, a hunt there. It was routine and easier than Dean ever dreamed. There was no Chuck pulling the strings; no apocalypses knocking at the door. There was the taste of freedom for once in his life. Just he and Sam on the open road, ganking monsters and hustling pool, like the good old days before… before everything. But it was bland. It tasted different than he thought it would when there was still the promise of someday, but then that was taken from him too. 

Dean took another pull from the crappy beer, swishing it around before he swallowed. 

Hell, there was even cheap beer here, yet still, the more he thought about it, the more he found something was missing, even now. He was in Heaven and he should be content, but the more he stewed on it the more he found he wasn’t. 

Setting his sights on the Impala, he shook his head and chuckled at the thought. “I think I’ll go for a drive.”

“Have fun,” Bobby said, settling comfortably into his chair. 

Dean bounded off the steps and rounded the car, running a hand along the hood. It felt good to see her again. He didn’t want to be part of any afterlife here or the next that didn’t include his Baby. Sliding in behind the wheel, he started her up, letting that familiar rumble soothe him. Taking in the tranquil surroundings, he headed in a random direction and figured if this place truly was a Heaven he deserved, he shouldn’t need a friggin’ road map to get around. 

Time up here was different. That was what Bobby said anyway. He didn’t know how long he drove for, he just drove till he felt he found a good place to stop. He came upon a bridge cutting over a coursing river, surrounded by lush greenery, and he felt compelled to take it all in. 

He shut the car off then and got out. The door closed with its tell-tale rusted hinges and the sound eased him. Coming upon the rail, Dean allowed himself to simply be present in the quiet moment. Nature wasn’t something he often found time to appreciate on Earth. He couldn’t help but think maybe camping for camping’s sake would’ve been fun at least once. Him, Sam, Jack, and—

Dean felt him more than heard him. The feeling you get before heat lightning strikes and the hairs on your arm raise in anticipation. The smell of ozone hanging in the air before it rains. He turned then, not knowing what to expect, when he saw Cas looking back at him across the bridge. 

“Hello, Dean,” he spoke, softly. His watery, blue eyes doling out condolences. 

If Dean didn’t know any better he’d say the angel sounded slightly abashed. 

Maybe he should’ve led with words, but the gravity pulling Dean’s feet towards Cas was too much of a force to be reckoned with. Without so much as a word, Dean met him halfway, folding himself around the angel, nestling his face in the curve of Cas’ shoulder with a nearly silent sob as he breathed him in. 

“Cas—” he started, but the word broke in his mouth. Fat tears welled up in his eyes and he closed them to keep the tears inside longer. “Cas, is this real?”

“It’s real, Dean— I’m real. Jack resurrected me.” For all of Cas’ restraint, he started to slip, bringing hesitant hands around to gently embrace him back. He sagged under Dean’s hold with a weak, shuddered sigh before he latched on just as tightly. “I wasn’t expecting to see you so soon,” he lamented. “You shouldn’t be here yet.”

“I couldn’t do it,” Dean rasped, sucking in a harsh breath. “I couldn’t do it anymore, Cas. Not without you with me. You left and I never got to tell you. I never got to tell you I—” His fingers tangled tighter in the familiar trench coat, not wanting to let go yet, never wanting to let him go, before Cas pulled back to look him in the eye. But even still, even now, the words were lodged in his throat. He swallowed harshly around the lump when Cas laid a soft, shaking palm to his cheek, meeting his sparkling wet eyes.

“It’s okay, Dean. You don’t have to say it,” he breathed, “I know.”

Wordlessly, Dean jerked his head to refute it. “No,” he said, “No, it’s not. You were right, Cas.”

“Right about what?”

“About everything.” 

_About me._

He sniffed back tears, searching for the right words. “You know, my whole life I always felt like I was running from something; from the monsters, the bad shit, the next apocalypse, even from myself, but I never- I never stopped long enough to realize I was running from you too because— cuz it was easier than facing you.”

Cas quirked his head and Dean felt his heart swell in his chest. Despite himself, a watery smile broke out on his face at the sight. He placed his hand over Cas’, holding it there, leaning into the touch. That aching feeling he felt for months, suddenly lifted. He found he could breathe again. But the easy smile crumpled when he thought back on the ways he’d treated Cas towards the end. 

“All those times I pushed you away— I was- I was scared. Because ever since day one you’ve had this way of getting under my skin, man.” He let out a laugh, though his voice wavered when the corner of Cas’ lips didn’t lift with his, but turned down in puzzling contemplation. “But no matter how much I tried to run or shut you out, you always saw right through me.”

He swallowed tightly as he shut his eyes, thinking about the handful of months thinking he’d never see him again. About all the times he thought he was gone forever and how every time cut deeper and more irreparably than the last and trying to convince himself it wasn’t what he always knew it was. 

But it was. 

“I fed myself so many lies,” he trembled, barely above a whisper. “Just so I could carry on being content with the same old crap. Because it was freedom, right? The one thing I said I always wanted. I tried to be happy for Sam and- and for you, but I- I just couldn’t.” Another tear rolled down his cheek then, and he fought with himself, but couldn’t hold it in any longer. Looking into Cas’ eyes again, he knew that now. It was always for love. “I couldn’t be happy because the only thing I’ve ever wanted was to be with you.”

Whatever else he planned to say was cut off with Cas’ mouth. His lips and hands cradled Dean’s face so tenderly it made tears spring up in his eyes anew. He treated Dean as if he were a precious stone among bedrock, the way he always did that left Dean feeling laid bare in his presence and it only served to make a Dean cling to him. To revel in the angel’s reverence, until they had to part for air. 

“You can have me, Cas,” he urged with a kiss to the angel’s wrist. “You’ve always had me. I- I love you.”

“Dean,” Cas sighed against his lips, his own eyes glassy with unshed tears. “I love you too. And I’m never going to leave you again.”


End file.
